I love watching young people become parents.
Let me introduce you to someone truly special: Mary Henderson. She’s been a licensed midwife since 1981, but her story actually began way back in 1974 when she had her first baby at just 18 years old. Like so many women of that time, her hospital birth experience was cold and clinical — filled with things like routine episiotomies, bucket enemas (yes, really), and delayed bonding with her baby.After that, she knew she wanted something different. So when it came time to have her second child, she chose a home birth — even though it was illegal in Arizona at the time. That bold decision changed the entire course of her life. It sparked a fire in her heart and led her to enroll in the Arizona School of Midwifery, where she was chosen as one of the very first 10 students out of 500 applicants.
Since then, she’s gone on to become the longest-practicing midwife in the entire state of Arizona. Her career has been all about supporting families, empowering women, and advocating for safe, supported home births.
Mary has so much wisdom to share — and trust me, you’re going to want to hear what she has to say. So grab a cup of tea, cozy up, and settle in. This conversation is full of gold for any mama who’s curious about birth, community, and the power of trusting your body.
Who should have home deliveries?
“The main difference I see between home births and hospital births is you’re in a more comfortable environment. I don’t want to say the pain is less at home, but you are more comfortable and relaxed because you are in your familiar space.”
“I believe only low risk women should be having home births.You know, poor doctors, they have to take care of people that are sick or have high blood pressure or diabetes or have babies that have problems in utero… and we don’t have to do that [as midwives]. We take care of people that are healthy, and that’s why midwife statistics look so good, it is because we are taking care of the lowest risk population as well as we’re more involved in their care, we have a vested interest. We have an attachment to our clients, because we don’t have that many of them. I don’t have to look at somebody’s chart when I walk into a room. I love to know who they are.”
In your practice, what has been your favorite part about being a midwife?
“I love to see couples become parents. (italicized) I also love when women are in labor and their husbands are nurturing them. The moms are working really hard, but the person that’s sitting there with them is being very helpful. Dad’s don’t have all those hormones being released in their body giving them the energy to stay awake, so they’re super tired, but I see them step up and support their wife in spite of their own exhaustion. It was wonderful watching how they love their wife and care for her in the moment.”
What is your go to recommendation for morning sickness?
I want to start by saying that everybody’s different and it can be a sign of a healthy pregnancy, unless it’s extreme.
Here is my go to list of remedies:
- Get more rest
- Ginger tea
- Avoid greasy and spicy foods
- Anti-Nausea Acupressure Wristband for Morning Sickness
- Several small meals per day, rather than three big meals
- Stay hydrated
- *Sip, Sip, Sip! Avoid drinking large amounts of water at once.
- Ginger ale
- Aromatherapy with essential oil
- *lavender, lemon, spearmint
- Morning Sickness suckers
One thing I find is when women get really hungry because they don’t want to eat because they’re afraid they will throw up. But having those little, tiny, constant snacks all day keeps hormones from dropping drastically, and that is caused when people don’t eat for prolonged periods of time.
What do you recommend to moms who are feeling overwhelmed?
“Be kind to yourself, and be patient while you are preparing for a big life change.”
“Be kind to yourself, and be patient while you are preparing for a big life change. I think people’s lifestyles have changed in the last 20 years and people are so overwhelmed now. With two parents working, it’s harder to get to where the average family was 20 years ago as it is now. I see now that a lot of the time both parents have to be working, and I encourage them to be kind to themselves.”
If you are working while pregnant you are expecting a lot from yourself. Remember to be kind and give yourself the rest and grace you need to get through the season of pregnancy.
I have found that a lot of women are feeling overwhelmed just establishing breastfeeding with their new baby, and then they have to go back to work. Most moms are still having to go back to work after six weeks.
“Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break. Don’t be so hard on yourself, because you have a new baby and you might have other children. You have a busy life with work, children and a husband. It’s okay if you don’t get all the stuff done. Does it really matter in the scheme of things?”
“I have found that the women who do the best are usually the ones who have a bunch of kids because they have learned how to prioritize what really matters. As moms we sacrifice first, always. But during pregnancy and after a baby, let it be about you. It can be about you right now, because in a couple weeks, you will be back to your regular responsibilities.”
“So just take that time and bask in the splendor, because it’s gone so quick. These teeny tiny little babies are teeny tiny for a very short period of time.”
Get plenty of exercise, rest and have a healthy diet
“When life gets hectic and overwhelming I encourage people to focus on what they can control: nutrition, exercise and rest. These are the basic things we can control and taking care of these needs can eliminate much of those overwhelming feelings moms can get.”
Make a list of the things that you know you need help with
“I have an eight page questionnaire to help new moms prepare for life after the baby arrives
It goes over who will be doing what and what your expectations are for everybody helping. I have found that moms who have a strong support team for the first couple weeks postpartum recovery are less likely to have issues with depression and stress.”
Be aware of your limitations and vocalize it
As moms, I think nobody’s harder on us than we are.
“Women can feel overwhelmed with juggling their responsibilities and adjusting to a newborn. Give yourself a break. When you feel like you need help, ask. Ask your husband, your practitioner or see a counselor. Sometimes moms get into a really bad place mentally and I will encourage them to go see a counselor.”
“As moms, I think nobody’s harder on us than we are. You can feel like a failure in so many things when you’ve got all these balls in the air and you’re not doing any of them well. But then we get past this, right? These newborns, they get a little bit older, they sleep a little bit more, but when you’re breastfeeding all day, things are not going to be getting done.”
What is the best form of exercise that women can do during pregnancy?
- Swimming
- Walking 2 miles per day
“Labor can be compared to a 50 mile hike and you wouldn’t go at a 50 mile hike without exercising a little bit and preparing with some prenatal yoga. If women have a rigid exercise program before delivery; weights and squats. There’s lots of modifications that you can do to keep their exercise routine. I tell women to keep exercising because it is so important to keep your body strong for delivery and keep your mental health in a good place.”
*I do not recommend hot yoga or exercises that engage the abs because those are unsafe for pregnant women.*
What are your go-to pain relief techniques?
- Labor pools
“When women are in heavy labor, around six centimeters and their contractions are getting intense, I’ll recommend getting in the tub. The tub decreases the pain of labor by 30% to 40%.” - Stand in the shower,
- Sit on the yoga ball
- Eat and drink your own food
“If labor is equal to a 50 mile hike, to do that without your normal water and food you’re not going to do very well. When you focus on staying hydrated and rested the pain is less than if somebody was really exhausted and that makes the pain much harder to deal with.” - Encouragement from others and encouraging yourself
“When a woman has reached seven or eight centimeters dilation they’re almost done. In my practice that is when I offer the most encouragement instead of offering pain relief as done in the hospital. Reminding moms that they are almost done.” - Make the room dark and quiet
“During my profession I have found that a lot of women want it to be dark, quiet and very little touch.” - Have your partner offer counter pressure
What is your favorite part of a delivery?
“I love watching young people become parents. When we’re young, we don’t really think about others, we’re kind of selfish and this baby comes along and life isn’t about you anymore. It’s about this baby, and we don’t even care. We don’t even care that we didn’t get to sleep or we didn’t get to go out, because we’ve fallen in love with this beautiful baby.”
“I had a delivery a couple years ago and she sent me a clip of her kids meeting the new baby. She had gone into labor when they were at school, and they didn’t know. So when they came home from school, her dad went and picked them up, and the kids walked into the room to see their new baby. As a midwife these are the stories that make my heart so happy.”
“Another memorable delivery was a mom who had a 10 and a half pound baby, at home, and her kids were in the other room. Then they come in after the baby has been cleaned up and the mom had an older son, about 17, that was a ballplayer. So here’s this big guy holding this baby, and tears are just dipping down his face. It was the cutest thing.”
Mary Henderson’s incredible journey as a midwife has touched the lives of countless families, offering them support, wisdom, and a deeply personal birthing experience. Her passion for midwifery and dedication to empowering families remain stronger than ever. Whether you’re preparing for a home birth, seeking guidance through pregnancy, or simply looking for reassurance on this beautiful journey to parenthood, Mary’s insights are invaluable.
Stay connected with Mary and continue learning from her wealth of knowledge—follow her on social media and visit her website for expert advice, resources, and support. Your journey into parenthood is unique and beautiful, and Mary is here to walk it with you.